My dauther, Melissa, is in New York City this semester dancing as an intern with a dance company. Recently we were talking about why she loves to dance, and she couldn't explain her passion. It's as if she was born with a love for it. We decided that, along with our gifts and talents, even what we are passionate about is from God.
Psalm 139:13-15 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
How sweet to know that not only does God know us better than we know ourselves, but He created us just as we are with a purpose in mind.
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.
So my prayer for each of us is that as we delight ourselves in Him, He will continue to plant HIS desires for us into our hearts. And as we follow our hearts, we will actually be following HIS dreams and plans for our lives.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Together
I ran my first half marathon! It was an amazing experience to do something that I never dreamed I could do and to push myself way beyond what was comfortable for me. It was also an unforgetable experience because I ran it with 2 of my sisters and my niece (plus big sis and niece's mom along with my parents were there cheering us on). But the best moment of the day was when I heard about this volunteer who had come to pass out water at mile 11.
A woman, who was originally there to run the full marathon but missed the 9 mile cutoff time and had to settle for the half, arrived at the 11 mile station and told the volunteer that she just wasn't going to make it. She asked if they would please call someone to come and pick her up. She went on to explain that she didn't make the cutoff and was so discouraged and tired that she just couldn't go the last 2 miles to even finish the half.
The volunteer tried to encourage her to finish and finally said, "What if I run the rest of the way with you?" The lady couldn't believe that this volunteer was willing to jump in and run with her. In the end the two of them took of from the 11-mile station and crossed the finish line together. The young woman didn't hold the runner up, didn't even touch her in fact, but her presence gave her the strength to finish the race.
This is why I love the Body of Christ. This is why I LOVE my brothers and sisters in Christ. We are here to run together, to encourage each other as we each "run the race that is set out for us". We can't run it for each other, but running with each other gives us the strength and courage to finish well.
I know the beauty of having others come along beside me when I don't feel like I can face another day. I know what it's like to experience "Christ in the flesh" when a family member or friend walks difficult days with you. I am grateful for those in my life who didn't bail when things got sad and messy for me! They are running this race with me and pointing me to Christ, the One who gives me His strength when my strength is gone.
I pray that you know the beauty of having brothers and sisters in Christ who are running beside you, reminding you of who Christ is and who you are in Him and that you run this race well!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Run
I'm training to run a half marathon! My goals, besides actually running the 13 miles, are not to whine or over analyze the experience. Having said that, let me share my analysis thus far:
I've never been a runner, and I'm not sure what possessed me to try it. Now that 2 of my sisters are training and going to run it with me, I can't possibly back out! But I've discovered that it is an amazing experience to push yourself to keep going when everything in you is screaming for you to stop. When my lungs and legs are yelling, "Don't go one more step...WALK....STOP...I can't do it....this is not worth it...." I only reach my goal when my mind has decided, before I even start, how far I will go before I stop. As I ran this morning I thought about how my spiritual "run" is much the same.
There are phases in my life when my heart and mind scream, "God's not coming through.... find another way.....He's not going to be faithful.....stop waiting.....this is too hard...He's asked too much...is it worth it???" In those moments it is only my history with God and the fact that I decided a long time ago to trust Him, no matter what, that keep me going.
The other thing I've learned is that it's more about endurance than it is about speed. I don't really care how fast I run the race, but I care a lot about actually fininshing it. Again the same can be said for our spiritual lives. To "run" well for the long haul is what really matters. I so often get in a hurry or impatient with God and want Him to do things fast. I even want Him to do His work in my heart fast. But I'm learning that He does things well and at just the right time. He's not too worried about my timing!
My goal for running is to be ready and to finish that 13 mile run. My goal spiritually is to trust Him no matter what, to finish this "race" well, and to be totally abandoned to Christ until this race is run!
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1
So much for not over analysing....I'm still not whining though!
I've never been a runner, and I'm not sure what possessed me to try it. Now that 2 of my sisters are training and going to run it with me, I can't possibly back out! But I've discovered that it is an amazing experience to push yourself to keep going when everything in you is screaming for you to stop. When my lungs and legs are yelling, "Don't go one more step...WALK....STOP...I can't do it....this is not worth it...." I only reach my goal when my mind has decided, before I even start, how far I will go before I stop. As I ran this morning I thought about how my spiritual "run" is much the same.
There are phases in my life when my heart and mind scream, "God's not coming through.... find another way.....He's not going to be faithful.....stop waiting.....this is too hard...He's asked too much...is it worth it???" In those moments it is only my history with God and the fact that I decided a long time ago to trust Him, no matter what, that keep me going.
The other thing I've learned is that it's more about endurance than it is about speed. I don't really care how fast I run the race, but I care a lot about actually fininshing it. Again the same can be said for our spiritual lives. To "run" well for the long haul is what really matters. I so often get in a hurry or impatient with God and want Him to do things fast. I even want Him to do His work in my heart fast. But I'm learning that He does things well and at just the right time. He's not too worried about my timing!
My goal for running is to be ready and to finish that 13 mile run. My goal spiritually is to trust Him no matter what, to finish this "race" well, and to be totally abandoned to Christ until this race is run!
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrews 12:1
So much for not over analysing....I'm still not whining though!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
A Life that Counts
Years ago my grandmother got too feeble to live by herself, so she moved in with my parents. When I would go visit my parents, I would watch her putter around the house with her walker and grow more feeble and forgetful as the years passed. It got to a point where she couldn't hear the TV well enough to watch it anymore, couldn't see well enough to read and had lost too many friends and family to have visitors.
On one of those visits I wondered why God would leave someone on earth after the point that they were ready to go, after most of their loved ones had gone before them and when they were in so much pain. One night I walked by her room and saw my 4 year old, Rachel, sitting on the side of Grandmother's bed, tucking her in and talking to her. God whispered to my heart, "That's why."
My friend Wendy just got diagnosed with a tumor on the lining of her brain. She's one of the most selfless and loving people I know. She has truly given God control of her life. She told me that she is expecting to see "fireworks" from God through all of this. She expects Him to use her life, even in her most feeble moments.
My family was blessed to have been able to love our grandmother in her old age.
Our church family will now be blessed to be able to step up and care for Wendy and her family as they go through these difficult months of surgery and recovery and the unknown. It reminds me that each of our lives is about more than just a solitary life. We are intertwined, God uses one life to touch and teach another.
When we tell God that He can use us, we expect Him to give us a task, to show us where to serve. Sometimes though we tell Him that our life belongs to Him and He allows us to become the task. It's much easier when God lets me stay the strong one, sends me to care for and love hurting, sick or broken people. But what about the times that He takes my life and uses it to teach others to care for and love one in need? What about when I become the broken and needy one? Am I really willing for Him to use my life however HE sees fit and in whatever way will bring Him the most glory?
To trust Him is that place is real and selfless faith!
My grandmother and Wendy have taught me more than they will ever know.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Accepted
Have you ever been overwhelmed by the fact that we get to come into the presence of the God of all creation....just as we are?
We lived in France for 3 years before we found a school that would accept Michael. I'm talking about schools FOR handicapped children. They are full and getting a place for your child in one is next to impossible.
The process goes like this: a place comes open in a school, they let 3 or 4 children come in for a "3 day trial period", after the trial periods they choose which child gets the open spot. I can't remember how many "trials" we went through and were told each time that Michael had not been accepted. It was always for different reasons, all having to do with his disabilities: his behavioral issues, the fact that he was still in diapers, his inability to communicate, etc. I cannot tell you how painful that was each time it happened.
I began to despair and wondered why on earth God had called us there. At the beginning of our 4th year in France a school called with an opening and said they wanted to give Michael a 5 day trial to see if he could adjust. Everyday of that week I would walk him to the door with my heart pounding and resisting the urge to fall at their feet and beg them to accept and love my son just as he was, handicaps and all.
After I would drop him off I would go home, close my bedroom door and pray. I would ask, no I would beg, God to be with Michael, to give him favor, to help him cooperate. One morning I drove home angry with how wrong it was for a system to ask an already challenged child to prove himself before he was accepted. I closed my door that morning and expressed that to God, then I started in with...please give Michael favor today....
I was suddenly struck with the realization of what a miracle it is that I can come bravely before the throne of God....just as I am, handicaps and all....and I am completely and wholly accepted. I never have to fall at His feet and beg him to accept and love me. What Jesus did for me at the cross covers my sin and brokenness. I realized that my son compared to a "normal" child is nothing compared to the difference between me and the holiness of God. Why had I never realized how huge that is before.
What a privilege to have and to serve a God like that!
We lived in France for 3 years before we found a school that would accept Michael. I'm talking about schools FOR handicapped children. They are full and getting a place for your child in one is next to impossible.
The process goes like this: a place comes open in a school, they let 3 or 4 children come in for a "3 day trial period", after the trial periods they choose which child gets the open spot. I can't remember how many "trials" we went through and were told each time that Michael had not been accepted. It was always for different reasons, all having to do with his disabilities: his behavioral issues, the fact that he was still in diapers, his inability to communicate, etc. I cannot tell you how painful that was each time it happened.
I began to despair and wondered why on earth God had called us there. At the beginning of our 4th year in France a school called with an opening and said they wanted to give Michael a 5 day trial to see if he could adjust. Everyday of that week I would walk him to the door with my heart pounding and resisting the urge to fall at their feet and beg them to accept and love my son just as he was, handicaps and all.
After I would drop him off I would go home, close my bedroom door and pray. I would ask, no I would beg, God to be with Michael, to give him favor, to help him cooperate. One morning I drove home angry with how wrong it was for a system to ask an already challenged child to prove himself before he was accepted. I closed my door that morning and expressed that to God, then I started in with...please give Michael favor today....
I was suddenly struck with the realization of what a miracle it is that I can come bravely before the throne of God....just as I am, handicaps and all....and I am completely and wholly accepted. I never have to fall at His feet and beg him to accept and love me. What Jesus did for me at the cross covers my sin and brokenness. I realized that my son compared to a "normal" child is nothing compared to the difference between me and the holiness of God. Why had I never realized how huge that is before.
What a privilege to have and to serve a God like that!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Conditional Faith
I'm on week 6 of a Beth Moore Bible Study called Esther. As usual, her study has really challenged and encouraged me. Amazing!
Last night she made several points that really struck me. One of them was about conditional faith and fear. Conditional faith is where our trust in God is that He will protect us from something....I trust that God will not let "this" happen. Tested and genuine faith says I trust God even if "this" does happen. Our "this" can be several things or one overwhelming fear that we don't think we could face. For Esther is was death, "If I perish, I perish".
One of my "this" conditions was that I would have healthy children. Surely if God is good then He would give me healthy children. When Michael was born with multiple problems I was faced with a huge question, "Is God really good?" He didn't protect me from my "this". It truly put my faith to the test and, in the end, moved me from conditional faith to real faith.
What I found to be a life-changing truth, and what Beth Moore pointed out in her study, is that God is faithful. God is good and He can care for me and lift me back up on my feet even when "this" happens. I'm no longer afraid of "this".
When we get to the place where we say "If I perish, I perish" or "If 'this', then God will be faithful to me and provide for me" then we are free. We are free from fear and free to trust God with all of our hearts. We are free to bravely go where He calls us to go, to love whomever He calls us to love, to sacrifice whatever He might ask us to sacrifice. Once we know that He is enough, then we are truly free and will carry a lighter weight than we've carried before!
"The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
Psalm 118:6
Last night she made several points that really struck me. One of them was about conditional faith and fear. Conditional faith is where our trust in God is that He will protect us from something....I trust that God will not let "this" happen. Tested and genuine faith says I trust God even if "this" does happen. Our "this" can be several things or one overwhelming fear that we don't think we could face. For Esther is was death, "If I perish, I perish".
One of my "this" conditions was that I would have healthy children. Surely if God is good then He would give me healthy children. When Michael was born with multiple problems I was faced with a huge question, "Is God really good?" He didn't protect me from my "this". It truly put my faith to the test and, in the end, moved me from conditional faith to real faith.
What I found to be a life-changing truth, and what Beth Moore pointed out in her study, is that God is faithful. God is good and He can care for me and lift me back up on my feet even when "this" happens. I'm no longer afraid of "this".
When we get to the place where we say "If I perish, I perish" or "If 'this', then God will be faithful to me and provide for me" then we are free. We are free from fear and free to trust God with all of our hearts. We are free to bravely go where He calls us to go, to love whomever He calls us to love, to sacrifice whatever He might ask us to sacrifice. Once we know that He is enough, then we are truly free and will carry a lighter weight than we've carried before!
"The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
Psalm 118:6
Monday, June 15, 2009
Weary
Sometimes I am just weary, worn out. There are mornings when I wake up and I'm not sure where I will get the energy to go through the day. On those days I am so glad to know that my God does not ever grow weary and never wonders where He is going to get the energy to get ME through the day.
"Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding.
He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths become weary and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:28-31
So once again my job is simply to trust Him. He doesn't promise to wave a magic wand and remove all the things that make me feel weary, but He does promise to give me strength when I am powerless and power when I am weak.
At the end of the day I look back and I can see how He has been faithful and has carried me through even the most exhausting days!
"Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding.
He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths become weary and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:28-31
So once again my job is simply to trust Him. He doesn't promise to wave a magic wand and remove all the things that make me feel weary, but He does promise to give me strength when I am powerless and power when I am weak.
At the end of the day I look back and I can see how He has been faithful and has carried me through even the most exhausting days!
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