My friend, Heather, got radically saved when she was 17 years old. She got married at 19 and she and her husband went into full-time ministry with Youth With A Mission. Soon after she had her second baby, her husband was diagnosed with cancer. When she was 23 her husband lost his battle with cancer. Her children were 2 years and 6 months old.
This past week was the 5 year anniversary of his death. Heather wrote out some of her thoughts. I have to tell you that the depth of her faith and walk with the Lord humbles and challenges me! Here’s a portion of what she wrote:
“Losing Seth challenged every proclamation in faith I had made, every cry for brokenness, every promise for steadfastness. Because in the face of any trial the enemy whispers accusations against who God is, trying to get us offended. Why do we think that just because we get hurt that we all the sudden have rights to take over our life again? Probably because we are human and whether we are aware of it or not we have boundaries to our surrenderdedness. And God, because of His great mercy and love, allows those boundaries to be exposed at the risk of losing us in order that He might free us to love and to receive His love."
"In the face of any trial the enemy whispers accusations against who God is, trying to get us offended." When I read that I thought, “Wow, I’ve been there”. It’s true, I’ve allowed the enemy to accuse God and cause me to become offended with Him.
A couple of days later Michael's behavior got out of control. Normally when his behavior gets out of control it means something hurts, really hurts. Since he doesn't talk, we start playing a guessing game as to what hurts. It can literally be from his head to his messed up feet. In short, I had a very hard week. We have determined that it's his ears, and we're on the road to a solution.
Yesterday I read Heather’s words again. This time I thought, “Wow, I’m there still”. How easy I regress and let my guard down and allow my heart to question Him again.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior” from Isaiah 43
He never said I would not find myself in the fire or in rough waters, afraid they might sweep over me. He did promise that He would be with me in the fire and that I would not burn up or go under!
I'm not sure why I keep waiting for life to get easy and become discontent with the simple fact that He is with me. The enemy certainly knows when to step up and accuse Him.
Thank you, Heather, for the reminder that He is good, He is enough and He is faithful!
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"In the face of any trial the enemy whispers accusations against who God is, trying to get us offended. Why do we think that just because we get hurt that we all the sudden have rights to take over our life again? Probably because we are human and whether we are aware of it or not we have boundaries to our surrenderdedness. And God, because of His great mercy and love, allows those boundaries to be exposed at the risk of losing us in order that He might free us to love and to receive His love."
This was so well said, thank you for sharing! I struggle with wanting to take over, anytime anything goes bad as well, and then you quoted the most perfect scripture...it's not going away, but God is there with us in these hard and awful times. Just like He was in the fiery furnace with Shdarack, Meshack, and Obed (SP? on all three!)
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