Walking Through the Seasons

I have come full circle. We have been living temporarily in Brandon as we are on furlough. This is where we are seeking the Lord about what is next and where we are resting and adjusting to life back in the US. Ironically this is also the city we lived in when Michael was born; before we went to Cape Girardeau and had an amazing church staff experience and 5 years before we went to France. As I shop, drive and walk the streets of Brandon, I have experienced strange emotions. This is where we walked through our desert, our most difficult days. We went through a heartbreaking church experience and adjusted to life as parents of a handicapped child.

Yet as I walk these streets today, I’m not in the desert at all. What was once a difficult place is now a peaceful one. Being here has caused me to revisit and reflect on those painful days when just getting out of bed and facing the day took more energy than I had on my own. I remember begging God for strength, to bring good things to us, to take us out of our desert. And eventually He did. As we left Brandon 13 years ago, I remember thinking, “Well, that is that. I’ve been through my desert, I’ve lived difficult days and now God is taking me on to safer and happier times.” He did take us on to a great place. But what I’ve discovered as the years have passed is that….deserts come and go. We’ve never gotten to a place where life won’t bring uncertainty, where we’re safe from heartache and disappointed.

God’s goal is evidently not for my life to be easy and settled, for all questions to be answered, for me to have arrived in a place where the pain is behind me and only smooth waters are ahead. I don’t know all of His reasons, but I know they are for my good. Perhaps He wants me to remember that I am desperate for Him and for His strength. Perhaps He wants me not only to understand the pain of others but to feel it with them because I’ve been there myself. Perhaps it’s the desert times that draw me so close to Him, which is the real goal after all. Perhaps He wants me to remember that this place is not my home and to keep my sights set on eternal things. Perhaps the desperate days grow me deep and make my faith rich. Perhaps I need to trust Him over and over when all seems lost.

The good news is that He never keeps me there. There are times when we are surviving the desert and times when He is walking us beside still, quiet waters. There have been days when the plan made perfect sense and I’ve been overwhelmed by God’s blessings and grace to allow us to be part of what He is doing. A desert doesn't mean the plan has changed or isn't working. The sweetest thing of all is that He is always there with us; restoring, healing, leading and showing Himself to be enough!

“For forty years you sustained them in the desert; they lacked nothing, their clothes did not wear out nor did their feet become swollen.” Nehemiah 9:20-21

As I walk the streets of Brandon today I realize that what I thought would kill me has only made me stronger. My feet are not swollen as I’ve walked through season after season, through times of heartache and times of amazing joy. This place is not what it was before, but then neither am I!