It's enough!

It's very humbling when God speaks to me through my own mouth!!

We've had a very strange week! Michael stopped being able to swallow solid food about 2 weeks ago. Fortunately he can still hold down liquids, including Ensure! We've done all kinds of tests this week at the hospital and seen more doctors than I can count to figure out what's going on and don't yet have an answer. At the same time, he keeps falling through the cracks on services he should be receiving for speech and behavioral issues, so I've been trying to figure that out as well.

Yesterday I felt like I was at a breaking point and kept saying all day, "Lord, You know the answers and solutions! Please bring the right people and services and doctors and....." Somewhere in my fragile human heart there was this whisper.."Is He going to be faithful in this? Will He show us the way? Is it really up to me to figure this out? Am I crazy to bank on Him to provide what Michael needs?"

I took Michael to his physical therapy in the pool (his favorite place to be on this earth...in water!), and there was a mom of a precious 3 year old with Downs there who I know casually. We got to sit and chat for a few minutes as her son finished his therapy session.

She is just beginning the world of school and therapy and services, etc and was talking about how anxious she is about finding the right things for him and making good decisions for him. She expressed how responsible she feels to find what he needs and make sure he has every advantage to progress that's possible!

Then right out of my own mouth I said, "You know, we need to do all we can do for our boys. We need to look for the right things and knock on all the doors we know to knock on. But at the end of the day, we need to know that God is big enough and good enough to provide for ALL of their needs, and ours. When we lay our heads on the pillow at night, we need to be able to say, 'What You provided for my son today must be what he needed. It's enough. I trust You!' If He's not that big, then we need out. At that point we'll have to find another God to serve."

Then the Holy Spirit knocked on my 'prone to wander' heart and said, "Did you just hear yourself? Do you believe that?"

I had to sit on that thought for the rest of the day. And last night, when my head rested on my pillow I answered. "Yes. I choose to believe that. I don't see the evidence of it tonight, but I believe that You are faithful and are providing what my son needs and are good and see all that we are going through and care. What you provided for him today must be what he needed."

"Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."
2 Corinthains 12:8-9

I'm grateful for a Savior whose grace really is all I need, and who is strong and who can channel HIS strength through me when I am weak!

It's enough!

Angela