Discipline

Jim and I have now spent many hours on conference calls discussing Michael's eventual transition from treatment to residential. Most of the conversation is between his current team in Baltimore and his future team in St Louis.The discussion is primarily about his behavioral plan and how to translate that from one place to the next and about what procedures are appropriate for his new setting and within the boundaries of what the state of Missouri will allow.

One of the main procedures that has been defined, redefined, and re-redefined is a question of "discipline". In the hospital, Michael is taken to a "safe room" when he gets to a certain level of "not having control" over his behavior. Amazingly, when he is completely isolated in that room he usually calms right down. His current team sees that as putting him in a position of being able to calm down and preventing him from potentially getting hurt or hurting someone else.

He obviously does not like going into the safe room and resists it, but once he's there he becomes calm and comes out his sweet self again, having regained control and composure.

The question has been: Since he gets to a certain level of being "out of control" when you put him there, is that disciplining him? Or is it merely giving him what he needs to cope? One team calls it discipline and doesn't want to punish him for losing control, the other sees it as helping him when he has lost control and cannot regain it on his own.  

One day, after a long phone call discussing discipline versus helping him regain control, I read:

"My child, don't make light of the Lord's discipline, and don't give up when he corrects you.
For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.
As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children.
No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening - it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way." 
Hebrews 12:5b-7a,11

I don't like the idea of God disciplining me....or anyone. Why can't he always choose grace and just "let it go"? But hearing this conversation around Michael's situation has helped me see "discipline" in a different way.

What if God knows that in certain situations extending grace instead of "discipline" would be harmful to me?
 
What if allowing me to continue with a behavior or down a road of disobedience would mean I end up seriously hurt or seriously hurting others?
 
What if discipline simply means putting me in the place where I can regain perspective and come out more my true self than when I went in....even if it's where I desperately did not want to go?
 
What if there are times when "discipline" is really "grace"?

I completely trust both teams discussing my son and making decisions concerning his treatment and "discipline" or how to help him.

I don't know if he does or not, but he should. They all want to help him and they all know better what will help him than he does.

Perhaps I need to trust God like that!